Hunter x Cena
by DarbySubmarine
Summary: A chaptered story of John Cena, the Doctor of Thugnomics, and his quest to finally become a legendary Hunter.


Hunter x Cena

It had been eleven months since the last Hunter exam, and tomorrow would make it twelve. John Cena sat atop his favorite tree and stared out at the ocean. Rapping quietly to himself, he focused on the waves, the anticipation in his stomach threatening his balance. In just a few hours, the 300th Annual Hunter Exam would start, and he had to be in the best shape possible, both mentally and physically. Cena was ahead of the game however, he had been secretly studying his Nen, and as an Enhancer, he knew there would be no physical challenge he could not overcome.

Sensing that it was time, he descended the tree quickly and quietly, like a bird gently hopping down a branch. As the ground met John's feet, he muttered a single line to himself.

"I brush yo mouf like Colgate." Lifting his head to the doors of the building where the Exam would begin, a smile crossed his lips. John Cena would become a Hunter. As he pushed the doors open, he quickly scanned the room for the other potentials. John was met with many stares back, and he knew some of these men. Kanye West, Rick Ross, Brittany Spears, David Spade, and Scott Steiner all met John Cena's gaze. They knew he was a threat, but John wasn't foolish enough to ignore that they could hold their own against him. John knew for a fact that both Rick Ross and The Genetic Freak Scott Steiner had studied and possibly mastered Nen, and they would both pose significant problems if he had to face them in combat.

As the six held each others gaze, a small cough came from the far wall. A tiny man with a small patch of hair atop his square head looked at them. After several seconds, John Cena realized it was Macklemore. A Two Star Equality Hunter, Macklemore was one of the fairest of the Pro Hunters, and Cena breathed a sigh of relief. This stage would definitely be easier if this was their Examiner.

"When I was in third grade, I decided to be a Hunter" Macklemore smiled to the crowd, "and now all of you have made that same decision. This road won't be easy, but I know the very best of you will succeed. Now, this year, the Examination Board made a mistake and accepted many more applicants than we usually do. Therefore, our first Stage in the Hunter Examination will be a Knockout Tournament. All you have to do is beat your opponent in combat. This will reduce our numbers and allow us to continue."

John Cena's perfect smile widened even farther. The first stage was physical combat, and that was just his style. John Cena never backed down from a fight, and as a fifteen time World Heavyweight Champion, he was all about hustle, loyalty, and respect. As Cena pondered how the matches would be made up, Macklemore pulled a whiteboard out of thin air. Cena knew this was Macklemore's "Thrift Shop" ability, as a Conjurer he was able to pull objects into existence by saying the activation phrase, "It was ninety nine cents." He had said it so quietly that no one had heard him, and many of the rookies were stunned, not knowing what Nen even was. To them, it seemed that Macklemore was Macklemagical, and they were not stepping out of line now.

Cena peered at the whiteboard. The first match was Scott Steiner against David Spade, and his match was after that, against one of the rookies in the room. He had caught a break. Macklemore clapped his hands, and the air grew thick with tension. Everyone knew it was fight or go home, and no one wanted to go home. The crowd cleared, moving to the walls of the building, as Macklemore stepped into the middle. Scott Steiner and David Spade moved to stand near Macklemore.

"This will be a fight to a quit. The match will not end until one fighter gives up. Killing your opponent is discouraged, as this is simply friendly competition." Macklemore's eyes glinted, he wanted to see the fresh blood spill. The "Equality" Hunter knew one thing, and that was all blood was equal, and it all deserved to be beaten out of you. Macklemore jumped back, and the fight began.

David Spade should have resigned as soon as the whiteboard appeared, because a second after Macklemore Macklemoved, The Genetic Freak Scott Steiner roared like a lion who's brains had been ruined by decades of steroid abuse, and Steiner smashed into David Spade with a shoulder tackle so devastating the walls vibrated. David Spade was knocked from his feet, and he raised his arms to defend himself, but Steiner was too quick, smashing through his defense with a clothesline, and sending Spade careening into the wall. Steiner roared again, his melted brain popping and sparking, as he grabbed Spade's unconscious body out of the wall. Steiner threw him on the ground.

"STEINER RECLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINER!" The words echoed around the building as Steiner sat on the small of Spade's back, wrapping his hands around his neck. Steiner yanked back in one swift motion, and the room was filled with the sound of each of Spade's vertebra breaking. John Cena saw Steiner's aura flare up as he delivered his finishing maneuver, and John realized Steiner was more dangerous than he realized.

"That's enough!" Macklemore Mackleroared, and Scott Steiner released David Spade's dead body. "Our next match is John Cena against Hopsin!" John Cena had never heard of Hopsin, and he was sure no one else had either. In this Hunter Exam, he was definitely a rookie, though he walked with the confidence of a tempered warrior. John Cena took his place on one side of the arena, and the fight began. Hopsin rushed at John Cena. He was fast, but Cena was faster. As Cena raised his fists, something unexpected happened. Hopsin opened his mouth, and John Cena heard him.

"You ain't shit, your parents don't love you and you ain't shit. I'm finna diss you all day fool, you ain't shit." This stunned Cena for a moment, and it was long enough for Hopsin to crack John's skull with a ferocious kick. Cena spiraled back, landing on his feet. After blinking several times, Cena realized he wasn't injured. Whoever this Hopsin was, he had no bite to his bark. He was all talk, and John Cena let out a hearty laugh.

"You've activated my trump card. FIVE MOVES OF DOOM." John's aura exploded as his Nen activated. John Cena's Nen was "Five Moves of Doom", a series of attacks that virtually guaranteed victory under any circumstances. Like a mad bull, John Cena was on Hopsin in an instant, landing a vicious shoulder tackle. Hopsin was knocked down, but flew back to his feet, only to be knocked down by a second shoulder tackle. Hopsin rose to his feet again, swinging wildly. John Cena was there, and he ducked, lifting Hopsin and dropping him into a vicious back suplex.

Cena raised his arm, looking down at the stunned Hopsin. Bending down, he waved his hand in front of his face. "You can't see me." Cena brought his fist crashing into Hopsin's skull with enough force to send him skyrocketing to his feet. Cena crouched down, and caught Hopsin's limp body on his shoulders. Throwing Hopsin's legs up, he grabbed his neck and drove his spine first into the ground, finishing his "Five Moves of Doom" with a heart-stopping Attitude Adjustment.

"Our winner is John Cena!" Macklemore stated. John had conquered the first of the Stages in his Hunter Exam. He knew many trials lie ahead, but he was certain he could overcome. After all, the Champ is here.


End file.
